Introverts in the Church by Adam S McHugh

I recently made some notes on this book which I share with you. Please note that I don’t agree with all of the theology or recommendations of Adam S McHugh. I did find the book thought provoking though in recognizing that we need to allow for different personality types in our churches and mission teams (and other community organizations). My notes are not extensive as I have selected random points from each chapter which I think are interesting. I think though I have communicated the gist of each chapter.

Chapter 1. The Extroverted Church.
- 97% of people regard Jesus as an extrovert (p15). Even though he sometimes withdrew to be with his friends. Why? Do people view being extroverted as being better?
- Introverts make up 50.7% of the population (p17).
- his thesis that ‘evangelical churches’ value extraversion coz we value personal relationships=sociability, value ‘the word’=talking a lot, value aggressive personal evangelism. Ie. all of which doesn’t come naturally to introverts (p.20-22).
- p23-28 the historical roots of Evangelicalism (in America) are from ‘The Great Awakening’ (George Whitfield) = characterized by outward expressions of piety and devotion and active service of God. C/C the inward reflection and intellectualism of introverts. Also (in America) the mega church movement with big personality pastors, showy meetings has helped define Christianity as being extroverted.
- p28-31. Believes the modern church needs a combination of Introverts and Extroverts lest Christianity just becomes like a flashy consumer product like the rest of society. Gives examples of the hermit Christians in fourth century who withdrew from the world (maybe to highlight how different today’s church is).

Chapter 2. The Introverted difference.
Freud. Introversion = an unhealthy obsession with self to the exclusion of others.
Carl Jung. Introverts = a healthy and normal trait. Introverts / Extroverts = a continuum within the same person. Jung is the basis of Myer-Briggs.

Introverts. Find primary energy within themselves. ie. energized by solitude or with one or two people. Need time and space for filtering and processing. Learning style centres on observation and contemplation and not as dependant on external feedback. One big mistake extroverts make is to think that if Introverts are not engaged with another person then they are not busy. Introverts are more orientated around ideas than people. Prefer depth in relationships over breadth. Find small talk disagreeable. Prefer to specialize in a few topics than over many. Good self awareness of motivations, feelings and assumptions that drive us.

Extroverts. Finds primary energy outside themselves in the outside world. Solitude and inactivity drains them.
People have a tendency to one or the other. It’s a preference. Ie. Myers-Briggs lists 8 different types of introverts (Rely on senses, Rely on intuition, From the Heart, From the Head, some prefer Structure, some prefer Spontaneity.)

Summary of Introvert characteristics (p.42)
- Prefer to relax alone or with a few close friends.
- consider only deep relationships as friends.
- Need rest after outside activities, even ones we enjoy.
- Often listen but talk a lot about topics of importance to us.
- Appear calm, self contained and like to observe.
- Tend to think before we speak or act.
- May prefer a quiet atmosphere.
- Experience our minds going blank in groups or under pressure.
- Don’t like feeling rushed.
- Have great powers of concentration.
- Dislike small talk.
- Are territorial – desire private time and space.
- May treat their homes as their sanctuaries.
- Prefer to work on own rather than with a group.
- May prefer written communication.
- Do not share private thoughts with many people.

Evidence that Extrovert and Introvert brain’s work differently (p.43-45)
Introverts get chemical satisfaction in reflection and a slower calmer life. Have busier and more active brains than Extroverts. ie. Introverts look calm on the surface but bubbling with activity below it. Blood flows greater to parts of brain for remembering, problem solving planning. But slower at speaking or accessing memories. Slow to react in stressful situations. Ie. some Introverts think they are not as smart as Extroverts but not a matter of intelligence but of different mental processes. (p.45).

Extroverts brains require greater amounts of dopamine which is produced by movement and action. Think and speak faster in an ‘act and react’ response. They thrive under pressure. More expressive with their bodies.

In the Bible. Peter was an Extrovert. Moses was an Introvert. ie. God uses both in his purposes.

Chapter 3. Finding Healing.
Introverts feel like the world doesn’t understand. eg. Quietness=arrogance=condescension. Pushes people further into isolation.

Introvert’s problems started in childhood. Eg. Parents, teachers expecting extroverted behaviour as normal. Eg. Have more friends or something wrong with you. Unable to answer questions quickly so stupid.

Issue: when is withdrawing healthy and wise and when is it unhealthy pre-occupation?

People need to learn to embrace their Introverted identity. It’s OK to talk less and spend less time with people. Withdrawing to energize will help take risks and be resilient when the time comes. Self image grounded in God (inward). Finding joy and healing in relationships (outward). Gospel and love should mean taking risks for others.

Chapter 4. Introverted Spirituality
Ours is an over stimulated culture (technology) at the expense of the inward. Introverts can teach Extroverts something here. P.70-71 seems to be promoting mysticism “sensing God on a different level that transcends words and rational thoughts.” P.74-75 Spiritual exercises: ‘the examen’ to survey the events of the day (from St Ignatius). “Invoke the Holy Spirit to guide our reflections on the day.” P.76 Way of God speaking to us.

Introverted Rules of Life (p.80)

Use these questions to work out disciplines and patterns.
1. What are the times of day I feel most energized?
2. When do I feel the most tired?
3. How much sleep do I need?
4. What physical habits energize me? Drain me?
5. When do I most feel the need for solitude?
6. What Spiritual disciplines restore me Spiritually? (my words)
7. What are the relationships I feel most energized or drained?

Eg. To plan time for reading, writing and reflection. Sabbath rest. Quiet places.

“In contemplations and solitude, we often find the impetus to act.” (p.84)

Chapter 5. Introverted Community and Relationships.

Churches define spiritual maturity as attendance at an increasing number of activities or being vulnerable in groups.

Sometimes introverts feel the need to step out of a community for a period of time.

Gifts Introverts have to offer: Compassion, Insight, Listening and giving space, Creativity, Service, Calming presence.

P102-106. Tips to help Introverts get involved in community.

Relational Challenges: Enmeshment with dependant people. One directional relationships. Conflict avoidant.

Chapter 6. The ability to lead.

Americans want their leaders to be extroverts. They value: Charisma, Dominance (sheer force of their will), Gregariousness, Superstardom (excel in everything). NB. The damage to even extroverts of these expectations.

Jim Collins’s book Good to Great. Ie. Leaders of great companies were more likely to be self effacing, understated, workmanlike diligence, set-up the next generation.
Ie. characteristics of Introverts.

The Biblical model of servant leadership. Character over charisma. Titus 1:5-8. 1 Timothy 3:2-7. 1 Peter 5:1-3 (ie. modeling godliness to others). P127. God’s power made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).

Also Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline contends that success in an organization depends on processes of reflection and evaluation. Ie. qualities of Introversion.

P.128. While extroverts might be perceived as ideal leaders, 4/10 top executives and 25% of protestant senior pastors defined themselves as Introverts. Ie. so doesn’t match the reality.

(gives egs. of quiet introverts who were successful leaders Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr and Jonathan Edwards..

Chapter 7. Leading as Ourselves.

Church leadership is not for every introvert. Pastoral ministry is a people business (p137). P140. Introverts tend to internalize everything eg. Disappointment. Also compassion fatigue.

But just coz ppl find a task draining doesn’t mean they are not good at it.

Labour in the power of God and the Holy Spirit.

Eg. Moses. Inarticulate. Didn’t want to do the job.

P142. Need to find strength in internal solitude as well as external confidants. Ie. there is a clarity that comes from speaking out loud. Keep discipline of self care schedule and boundaries.

P145. One unexpected finding was that Introverted pastors felt very comfortable preaching. Many considered it part of their biggest strength. Because it is a controlled setting where can speak without interruption and prepare thoroughly. Not good at debates though. Challenge is to connect with people not just speak at them.

p.147 preaching tips for Introverts (many are just preaching tips for anyone). Tip 8=Use preaching as an opportunity for self revelation.

p.148. Having a genuine, caring relationship with the congregation at other times can help the audience listen to the preacher. (1 Thessalonians 2:8)

p151-155. Helping people listen to God by being a good Spiritual director??? What is the Holy Spirit saying???

Recognise that Introverted pastors will affect fewer people than extroverted pastors but will affect people more deeply. Eg. Jesus and ‘the twelve’ or ‘the three’.

Introverted leaders can be tempted to lead from ‘above’ ie. be directive and unilateral because it requires less social energy than getting beside people. P162.

Strong partnerships between Introvert and Extrovert leaders can be a strength. It’s also validating for cong. members to being lead by someone of their own personality type. P162.

P164. Surprisingly found many senior pastors of large churches to be introverts coz members don’t expect them to be as accessible of involved in everything and they can get on with training and coaching.

P165. Things for Introvert leaders to work on.
- work at depending on others and seeking their input. C/c being independent.
- work at over communicating. Give more feedback and affirmation than we think is necessary.
- educate others about personality types.
- give other Introverts space to speak. Send meeting agendas out early so people have time to think. Give people some quiet time to think in a meeting.


Chapter 8. Introverted Evangelism.

Misconceptions. Only gregarious people who are naturally relational can be an effective witness. Eg. Have to be a good salesman to sell our product and extract a decision. p172.

But people value the humanity of Christians (p174). Eg. Our weaknesses, doubts and questions.

Sees his role not in initiating Spiritual conversations but responding to the ways God is already at work in people. (Initiating exhausts introverts). P.175.

For Introverts the most natural setting for sharing the gospel will be one to one friendships. (p.179). Our strength in fortitude, acts of service, compassion and listening ability (p.180). The slower more contemplative lifestyle of the Introvert might also be a more appealing model of Christianity (Jesus said “come to me and I will give you rest…”). Build relationships around your interests – more natural (p.181).

Introverted seekers need introverted evangelists (p.184).

Chapter 9. Introverts in the church.

Informality of some evangelical churches can sometimes exclude introverts because they are more awkward socially. (p.188-189). Introverts may feel more comfortable in traditional worship services that don’t require outward emotional responses (say of charismatic churches) (p.190). Introverts are looking for meaningful sanctuary (p.191). Most introverts prefer churches that move more slowly and thoughtfully. (p.195).

Welcoming Introverts
Acknowledge different types of personalities there. Eg. If there is a greeting time recognize that not everyone is comfortable with this practice and it may be a little awkward for some. (p.197).

Classes to help people recognize their gifts.

Recalibrate your leadership gauges to include Introverts and see the strength of this.

Use silences in worship. Different formats for prayer meetings (other than spontaneous and praying out loud). Have groups that are more task orientated than relationship focused (p.201). Insert personal refection times in meetings, give people homework and reading assignments, written agendas in advance of meetings.

The wisdom of age

This morning I read a section from the gospel of John 8:2-11 and noticed something interesting.

Jesus is defending a woman caught in adultery from possible stoning, by saying to the crowd "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (verse 7). It takes a few moments for these words to sink in, but when they do " .. those who heard began to go away one at time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there." (verse 9).

Notice it was the older ones who moved away first. They have more life experience and are more conscious of their own moral failings (sin). Younger people tend to be more idealistic and blind to their weaknesses and faults, while quick to condemn others and think that they are right.

How does this gel with your experience?

How one person can affect so many

Last weekend an over height truck carrying an excavator plunged into the entrance of the M5 motorway tunnel near Bexley. The driver ignored the flashing signs triggered by lasers. The M5 East was closed for most of the weekend creating havoc for thousands of people. I was one of them, being stuck in traffic three times over the weekend because of this accident. How the actions of just one person can affect thousands of others in a city like Sydney.

"No man is an island". We are interconnected. Some people justify their selfish behaviour by saying "I can do what I want as long as it doesn't affect others". That's fine but it's often not as simple as that. I can't always see what the affects of my actions will be, in the present and the future. Even our secret sins affect relationships with those around us.

There's a part of the Bible which speaks of our inter connectedness. It's in Romans 5:12-21. It basically says: there are two men whose actions have affected the futures of every other human being - Adam and Jesus Christ. Adam's action caused sin, death and God's judgement to enter the world. Jesus action bought justification (forgiveness) before God and eternal life.

We don't have a choice about suffering the consequences of Adam's actions .... in our humanity we are connected to him. We are born into it. But we do have a choice of whether to receive the benefits of what Christ did for us. Get connected to Christ today!

Why Cheat? Because everyone else does.

That was the reason former Melbourne Storm chief executive Brian Waldron gave the club's chairman Dr Rob Moodie when questioned about why he had orchestrated the blatant salary cap cheating that has cost the club two premierships. (SMH 23/04/10)

Raises the question of: Where do people get their ethics of decision making.

For Brian Waldron its "follow the herd."

Everyone else is doing it (ie. cheating) ... so why shouldn't I? This works well for issues which are seemingly innocuous eg. downloading music off the web. But doesn't sound as plausable when speaking to your teenage son or daughter about why they follow their peers in taking heavy drugs at a party. Or if you're a shopkeeper being looted during a power outage. ie. Just because "Everyone else is doing it" doesn't make it right.

So a good question to gently ask people when discussing the Storm scandal is: Where do you get your sense of right and wrong from?

For Christian's, we believe in a God who made the world and us ....and has lovingly given us guidance for life and human relationships ... in the Bible. Christians don't follow the herd they follow God's good word. Don't want to follow God's way? .... then who do you follow?

Getting some perspective on life

I've often thought it would be good if the Australian government sent every Australian child to work in the slums of Calcutta for six months when they turn 16. It would be a good way to humble them and make them appreciate the good life and abundance we enjoy in Australia.

Maybe a cheaper way of doing this is to get teenagers to read 'Mao's Last Dancer'. I'm a third of the way through this book: the true story of a young Chinese peasant boy growing up in rural China in the 1960's who becomes a famous balet dancer. Growing up, his family is struggling just to get enough food each day (they had to eat yams for breakfast, lunch and dinner in one three year period).

This book made me realise how ungrateful we often are for our good lives here in Australia. We just need some perspective about reality occasionally so that we appreciate the good things we've got rather than to wallow and to keep wanting more. We've got lots to thanks God for ... when you think about it.

God's Secret Wisdom

Do you know God's secret wisdom? The Bible says you can't know it unless the Spirit of God reveals it to you (1 Corinthians 2). It doesn't matter how intelligent you are or how religious you are, you just can't work it out unless God's Spirit gives you understanding. The Apostle Paul says this in 1 Corinthians 2:14: The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

What is this secret wisdom? Paul tells us a few verses earlier in v2: "I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified." Jesus crucifixion is the secret wisdom of God which is at the core of the Christian message.

OK you've heard of the crucifixion of Christ .... but do you really know what it means? What its significance is for you personally? The first thing you'll need to do if you really want to find out is to pray to God and to ask Him for Spiritual understanding. You won't 'crack the code' of meaning unless God's Spirit allows you to.

And for Christians who want to tell God's gospel to others you will need to make sure that the message of the Cross is at the core of what you tell people. You should also be praying that God's Spirit makes the message of the Cross clear to the hearer.

Keeping out the weeds

This weekend I must mow the Kikuyu grass on my nature strip. With all the rain over the past few weeks it's knee high and threatens to invade my property, through the fence and into my garden.

One of life's challenges is keeping out the weeds (or wild grass). I found a section in the Old Testament book of Proverbs which speaks about this.

I went past the field of the sluggard, past the vineyard of the man who lacks judgment; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. (Proverbs 24:30-34)

Lesson: If you're too lazy to keep out the weeds you will be ruined. It might be physical weeds, like the wild grass on my nature strip. It might be metaphorical weeds; in your relationship with your spouse or children, or even with God Himself. It might be some sort of evil in your life which threatens to take over: gambling, pornography, drinking, drugs, greed, workaholism.

Message: Keep working hard on keeping those weeds out. Don't ignore them. Take action today. (It would have been much easier if I'd have mowed my nature strip last week!)

I am nothing without my mobile phone

People love their mobile phones. Looking down the carriage of my train I see people everywhere staring down at their tiny screens, texting, playing games, reading the news. Its a world within a world. Its my connection to the world. I am nothing without my mobile phone.