I recently made some notes on this book which I share with you. Please note that I don’t agree with all of the theology or recommendations of Adam S McHugh. I did find the book thought provoking though in recognizing that we need to allow for different personality types in our churches and mission teams (and other community organizations). My notes are not extensive as I have selected random points from each chapter which I think are interesting. I think though I have communicated the gist of each chapter.Chapter 1. The Extroverted Church.
- 97% of people regard Jesus as an extrovert (p15). Even though he sometimes withdrew to be with his friends. Why? Do people view being extroverted as being better?
- Introverts make up 50.7% of the population (p17).
- his thesis that ‘evangelical churches’ value extraversion coz we value personal relationships=sociability, value ‘the word’=talking a lot, value aggressive personal evangelism. Ie. all of which doesn’t come naturally to introverts (p.20-22).
- p23-28 the historical roots of Evangelicalism (in America) are from ‘The Great Awakening’ (George Whitfield) = characterized by outward expressions of piety and devotion and active service of God. C/C the inward reflection and intellectualism of introverts. Also (in America) the mega church movement with big personality pastors, showy meetings has helped define Christianity as being extroverted.
- p28-31. Believes the modern church needs a combination of Introverts and Extroverts lest Christianity just becomes like a flashy consumer product like the rest of society. Gives examples of the hermit Christians in fourth century who withdrew from the world (maybe to highlight how different today’s church is).
Chapter 2. The Introverted difference.
Freud. Introversion = an unhealthy obsession with self to the exclusion of others.
Carl Jung. Introverts = a healthy and normal trait. Introverts / Extroverts = a continuum within the same person. Jung is the basis of Myer-Briggs.
Introverts. Find primary energy within themselves. ie. energized by solitude or with one or two people. Need time and space for filtering and processing. Learning style centres on observation and contemplation and not as dependant on external feedback. One big mistake extroverts make is to think that if Introverts are not engaged with another person then they are not busy. Introverts are more orientated around ideas than people. Prefer depth in relationships over breadth. Find small talk disagreeable. Prefer to specialize in a few topics than over many. Good self awareness of motivations, feelings and assumptions that drive us.
Extroverts. Finds primary energy outside themselves in the outside world. Solitude and inactivity drains them.
People have a tendency to one or the other. It’s a preference. Ie. Myers-Briggs lists 8 different types of introverts (Rely on senses, Rely on intuition, From the Heart, From the Head, some prefer Structure, some prefer Spontaneity.)
Summary of Introvert characteristics (p.42)
- Prefer to relax alone or with a few close friends.
- consider only deep relationships as friends.
- Need rest after outside activities, even ones we enjoy.
- Often listen but talk a lot about topics of importance to us.
- Appear calm, self contained and like to observe.
- Tend to think before we speak or act.
- May prefer a quiet atmosphere.
- Experience our minds going blank in groups or under pressure.
- Don’t like feeling rushed.
- Have great powers of concentration.
- Dislike small talk.
- Are territorial – desire private time and space.
- May treat their homes as their sanctuaries.
- Prefer to work on own rather than with a group.
- May prefer written communication.
- Do not share private thoughts with many people.
Evidence that Extrovert and Introvert brain’s work differently (p.43-45)
Introverts get chemical satisfaction in reflection and a slower calmer life. Have busier and more active brains than Extroverts. ie. Introverts look calm on the surface but bubbling with activity below it. Blood flows greater to parts of brain for remembering, problem solving planning. But slower at speaking or accessing memories. Slow to react in stressful situations. Ie. some Introverts think they are not as smart as Extroverts but not a matter of intelligence but of different mental processes. (p.45).
Extroverts brains require greater amounts of dopamine which is produced by movement and action. Think and speak faster in an ‘act and react’ response. They thrive under pressure. More expressive with their bodies.
In the Bible. Peter was an Extrovert. Moses was an Introvert. ie. God uses both in his purposes.
Chapter 3. Finding Healing.
Introverts feel like the world doesn’t understand. eg. Quietness=arrogance=condescension. Pushes people further into isolation.
Introvert’s problems started in childhood. Eg. Parents, teachers expecting extroverted behaviour as normal. Eg. Have more friends or something wrong with you. Unable to answer questions quickly so stupid.
Issue: when is withdrawing healthy and wise and when is it unhealthy pre-occupation?
People need to learn to embrace their Introverted identity. It’s OK to talk less and spend less time with people. Withdrawing to energize will help take risks and be resilient when the time comes. Self image grounded in God (inward). Finding joy and healing in relationships (outward). Gospel and love should mean taking risks for others.
Chapter 4. Introverted Spirituality
Ours is an over stimulated culture (technology) at the expense of the inward. Introverts can teach Extroverts something here. P.70-71 seems to be promoting mysticism “sensing God on a different level that transcends words and rational thoughts.” P.74-75 Spiritual exercises: ‘the examen’ to survey the events of the day (from St Ignatius). “Invoke the Holy Spirit to guide our reflections on the day.” P.76 Way of God speaking to us.
Introverted Rules of Life (p.80)
Use these questions to work out disciplines and patterns.
1. What are the times of day I feel most energized?
2. When do I feel the most tired?
3. How much sleep do I need?
4. What physical habits energize me? Drain me?
5. When do I most feel the need for solitude?
6. What Spiritual disciplines restore me Spiritually? (my words)
7. What are the relationships I feel most energized or drained?
Eg. To plan time for reading, writing and reflection. Sabbath rest. Quiet places.
“In contemplations and solitude, we often find the impetus to act.” (p.84)
Chapter 5. Introverted Community and Relationships.
Churches define spiritual maturity as attendance at an increasing number of activities or being vulnerable in groups.
Sometimes introverts feel the need to step out of a community for a period of time.
Gifts Introverts have to offer: Compassion, Insight, Listening and giving space, Creativity, Service, Calming presence.
P102-106. Tips to help Introverts get involved in community.
Relational Challenges: Enmeshment with dependant people. One directional relationships. Conflict avoidant.
Chapter 6. The ability to lead.
Americans want their leaders to be extroverts. They value: Charisma, Dominance (sheer force of their will), Gregariousness, Superstardom (excel in everything). NB. The damage to even extroverts of these expectations.
Jim Collins’s book Good to Great. Ie. Leaders of great companies were more likely to be self effacing, understated, workmanlike diligence, set-up the next generation.
Ie. characteristics of Introverts.
The Biblical model of servant leadership. Character over charisma. Titus 1:5-8. 1 Timothy 3:2-7. 1 Peter 5:1-3 (ie. modeling godliness to others). P127. God’s power made perfect in weakness (2 Cor 12:9).
Also Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline contends that success in an organization depends on processes of reflection and evaluation. Ie. qualities of Introversion.
P.128. While extroverts might be perceived as ideal leaders, 4/10 top executives and 25% of protestant senior pastors defined themselves as Introverts. Ie. so doesn’t match the reality.
(gives egs. of quiet introverts who were successful leaders Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr and Jonathan Edwards..
Chapter 7. Leading as Ourselves.
Church leadership is not for every introvert. Pastoral ministry is a people business (p137). P140. Introverts tend to internalize everything eg. Disappointment. Also compassion fatigue.
But just coz ppl find a task draining doesn’t mean they are not good at it.
Labour in the power of God and the Holy Spirit.
Eg. Moses. Inarticulate. Didn’t want to do the job.
P142. Need to find strength in internal solitude as well as external confidants. Ie. there is a clarity that comes from speaking out loud. Keep discipline of self care schedule and boundaries.
P145. One unexpected finding was that Introverted pastors felt very comfortable preaching. Many considered it part of their biggest strength. Because it is a controlled setting where can speak without interruption and prepare thoroughly. Not good at debates though. Challenge is to connect with people not just speak at them.
p.147 preaching tips for Introverts (many are just preaching tips for anyone). Tip 8=Use preaching as an opportunity for self revelation.
p.148. Having a genuine, caring relationship with the congregation at other times can help the audience listen to the preacher. (1 Thessalonians 2:8)
p151-155. Helping people listen to God by being a good Spiritual director??? What is the Holy Spirit saying???
Recognise that Introverted pastors will affect fewer people than extroverted pastors but will affect people more deeply. Eg. Jesus and ‘the twelve’ or ‘the three’.
Introverted leaders can be tempted to lead from ‘above’ ie. be directive and unilateral because it requires less social energy than getting beside people. P162.
Strong partnerships between Introvert and Extrovert leaders can be a strength. It’s also validating for cong. members to being lead by someone of their own personality type. P162.
P164. Surprisingly found many senior pastors of large churches to be introverts coz members don’t expect them to be as accessible of involved in everything and they can get on with training and coaching.
P165. Things for Introvert leaders to work on.
- work at depending on others and seeking their input. C/c being independent.
- work at over communicating. Give more feedback and affirmation than we think is necessary.
- educate others about personality types.
- give other Introverts space to speak. Send meeting agendas out early so people have time to think. Give people some quiet time to think in a meeting.
Chapter 8. Introverted Evangelism.
Misconceptions. Only gregarious people who are naturally relational can be an effective witness. Eg. Have to be a good salesman to sell our product and extract a decision. p172.
But people value the humanity of Christians (p174). Eg. Our weaknesses, doubts and questions.
Sees his role not in initiating Spiritual conversations but responding to the ways God is already at work in people. (Initiating exhausts introverts). P.175.
For Introverts the most natural setting for sharing the gospel will be one to one friendships. (p.179). Our strength in fortitude, acts of service, compassion and listening ability (p.180). The slower more contemplative lifestyle of the Introvert might also be a more appealing model of Christianity (Jesus said “come to me and I will give you rest…”). Build relationships around your interests – more natural (p.181).
Introverted seekers need introverted evangelists (p.184).
Chapter 9. Introverts in the church.
Informality of some evangelical churches can sometimes exclude introverts because they are more awkward socially. (p.188-189). Introverts may feel more comfortable in traditional worship services that don’t require outward emotional responses (say of charismatic churches) (p.190). Introverts are looking for meaningful sanctuary (p.191). Most introverts prefer churches that move more slowly and thoughtfully. (p.195).
Welcoming Introverts
Acknowledge different types of personalities there. Eg. If there is a greeting time recognize that not everyone is comfortable with this practice and it may be a little awkward for some. (p.197).
Classes to help people recognize their gifts.
Recalibrate your leadership gauges to include Introverts and see the strength of this.
Use silences in worship. Different formats for prayer meetings (other than spontaneous and praying out loud). Have groups that are more task orientated than relationship focused (p.201). Insert personal refection times in meetings, give people homework and reading assignments, written agendas in advance of meetings.
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